The wind blew hard here. It never did anything else. Cold gushes whirled around Drew pushing him along the beach. This was not one of your soft summery beaches. This was a northern beach; long, hard and grey. Ralf galloped passed him, tail wagging and tongue lolling from his mouth. Trotting in wide circles around Drew like an on show parade horse as they hiked along the beach together.
In the distance Drew noticed a figure walking up one of the larger groins littering the beach. It halted a few meters from the waters edge. Drew tossed a ball about for Ralf as they marched on. It was a good place for solitary contemplation. With spring around the corner yet winter still lingering. Even in the summer is was a desolated place. At this point he was close enough to distinguish the figure be a man yet he didn’t recognize him.
Odd a new face is usually noticed soon enough.
The harbour being situated on the other side of the island, not many tourists found their way down here. Part of why Drew loved the place. Closer still he glanced up at the man on the groin. It was in this exact moment the man turned, slipped and fell down the side into the shallow seawater.
Drew’s heart jumped stopping dead in his tracks waiting for the man to right himself.
No movement.
Drew raced into the water, Ralf splashing closely behind him. The man lay face down sprawled on the rocks cold seawater licking his shoulders.
Heart thumping; mind racing Drew turned the semi-submerged man on his back grunting with the effort. Drew’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the man’s face. Pale smooth skin, high cheekbones short sandy hair. His eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted, Drew’s panic rose as his heart skipped a beat. He shook the man’s broad hard shoulders. First aid course memories from a million years ago filtered through high alert state of mind.
“Hey man wake up. Wake up!” Shallow breathing but no movement. He tapped the man cheeks in a short quick sequence. taptaptaptaptap
Shit shit shit Drew chimed looking around the deserted beach. He was the only who lived anywhere near here and cell reception was limited at best.
“Come on!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!” He screamed Ralf tittering on the edge of the water barking loudly.
A soft groan and a slight stirring of limbs. Drew exhaled the breath he’d been holding, his lungs grateful for the release.
“That’s it!” He laughed relief making him giddy. “Come on open those eyes.” Snaking his arm behind the man’s back helping him to sit up. Suddenly he was staring into a pair of striking sandy coloured eyes albeit a little dazed.
Thu-thump
The man grabbed his head groaning, eyes darting around confused. “What?”
“You slipped and fell.” Drew explained trying to heave the man out of the water.
“I what?” His voice hitched in surprised confusion.
“We need you out of the water. Are you in pain? You think you can stand?”
The man made an attempt to stand yelping as he shifted his weight to he left foot. Drew held his arms balancing him.
“Broken?”
“No” The man said shaking his head, “I don’t break easily.” Drew pulled the man’s left arm over his shoulder sliding his arm around the injured man’s waist. Steading him to walk.
“Come on, my croft isn’t far up that way. We’ll get you seen to there.”
It took the two men over an hour to limp/walk back to Drew’s croft Ralf on point the entire time. Drew shivered uncontrollably the wind relentlessly tugging at his heavy damp trousers. But that was nothing in comparison to the soaked trembling man in his arms. Once inside the man half collapsing into an armchair sighing gratefully. Ralf licked his hand, to which the man absentmindedly scratched the dog behind the ears.
Drew was a quiet sort of man with a single motto; live and let live. Which didn’t indicate he was by any means a pushover. Drew got very protective if threatened. Once a local teen, the butcher’s son, malevolently kicked Ralf in the ribs. An act that cost Levin a broken nose. No one hurts his dog. No one.
Drew grabbed the landline and dialed the islands doctor.
“Hey Jacob, it’s Drew. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday but I’ve got a bit of a situation here.” He spoke into the phone and paused listening.
“No I’m fine, but there was a slip and fall on one of the groins. Got the lad here now seems to have hit his head and sprained his ankle. Could you come take a look at him?” Drew asked, another pause. “No I don’t think so, but I’ll keep him awake.” Pause “No no, he isn’t local.” Pause “Ok yeah, see you soon.” Drew put the phone down and returned to the armchair.
“How you feeling?” Drew asked, though he needn’t ask seeing the man shiver violently where he sat.
“Lets get you out of those clothes before you catch you death?”
The man looked up at him and nodded. Drew stooped to helped him out of the armchair before he hurt himself and guided him to the bathroom. The house was light and spacious, the living room and large kitchen lined with large windows overlooking the sea.
Drew’d opted for a ground floor bathroom with a large walk in shower and no bath. He sat the man down on a stool in the corner
“Try to take off your clothes, I’ll get you some dry ones.” Drew quickly ran upstairs to his bedroom. Kicked off his dirty boots and peeled off his damp trousers tossing them into the wash bin. Swiftly unzipped his coat throwing it aside as he ran towards the closet yanking it open. All the while profusely trying to push the feeling of that hard muscular body leaning against him out of his mind.
Drew mentally kicked himself. The man was injured for crying out loud!
He inhaled and exhaled slowly and concentrated on the task at hand. Scanning his closet he doubted anything he had would fit the mystery man right. He appeared to have long shapely legs with a long torso to match. Drew gulped at the thought, grabbing a pair of loose black sweats, a white T-shirt and a thick grey woolen jumper. He ran back downstairs heart racing as he entered the bathroom.
The man had managed to remove his coat and peel his tan seaman’s jumper off him. Drew stepped up and silently helped him with the rest of the cloths. Firmly keeping his eyes from wondering and his mind from straying. Undoing the boots, he looked up to see the man stare straight into his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” He breathed embarrassment and pain. Drew’s heart wrenched, he looked like a lost puppy. A puppy being stripped, by a stranger, in a strangers home. A permanent silent sadness lay just beneath the obvious pain and embarrassment of the moment. Drew couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion; it tugged at his heart a little more.
“Lets get you warm.” Drew’s voice soft atoning for his own bodily thoughts. In no time he was stripped clean. In the shower the man let the hot water rain down on him. Warming up his body, washing the salt away. Drew tried to give him as much privacy as he possible could.
They both kept their eyes adverted from each other, heads turned in opposite directions. After a hot lengthy shower the man dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. Drew helped him back on the stool, handed him the fresh clothes and asked if he could manage from here.
The man nodded averting his eyes. Drew fled the bathroom scooping up the dirty cloths. He headed towards the laundry room to rid them of salt and sand in the machine. He found a soaked wallet in the trouser pocket, a pair of keys and cell phone while padding them down. He emptied the wallet and spread all the papers and banknotes out on the folding table to dry. Feeling intrusive and hesitant but doing what needed to be done.
Jurian Bergan it said on the identity card, 26 years old. Sounded Nordic though he owned a national identity card and drivers license and no apparent accent. They were close in age. There was one photo presumably his family; all sharing the same facial features. Jurian, with his mother, father and sister standing smiling for the camera arms linked. The photo was warm and loving, what as a family should be.
The picture saddened Drew though it shouldn’t have.
He returned to the bathroom finding a half dressed Jurian, struggling with the sweats and the sore foot. Drew helped him finish and guided him back towards the living room. Lowering Jurian down on the large couch roomy enough to stretch out his legs and rest his foot.
“Warmer?” Drew asked draping a warm blanket over him.
“The shower helped.” Jurian grinned weakly for the first time. It was a killer grin; hit Drew right in the chest. He quickly looked away to hide the blush, straightened up and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Hot drink?” He looked back seeing Jurian nod gratefully. With a saucepan of milk on the stove Drew leaned against the counter and paused taking a slow and deep breath.
Try all he might to avoid it. Still he saw. He’d seen broad shoulders. He’d seen a defined smooth chest. He’d seen long shapely leg and strong arms, hell strong everything! With the most mesmerizing package he’d ever seen on a man, even in its flaccid state. Long, smooth and just plain beautiful. Drew tried not to picture how it would be in its other state. It had been a very long time since he’s been anywhere near a naked man. Certainly never a man whose stature was so perfectly in tune to Drew’s tastes.
Oh man… exhale.
The sound of bubbling milk brought Drew back to reality. Blushing at his own thoughts he took the milk from the stove and reached for two red mugs and the bottle of rum from the overhead compartments.
Before he could poor anything at all the doctor arrived. Drew abandoned the milk for now to let Jacob in.
“Evening Andrew!” Jacob boomed, was a big beefy man complete with black bushy beard and tash. Ralf bounded around Jacob, brushing against his legs like a cat in heat until Jacob scratched his the ears. Things get around on a small island Ralf was well known. “Where is my new patient?”
Drew led him to Jurian sprawled on the couch.
“Right then, what do we have here! I heard you had a nasty slip and fall my son.” That was Jacob, father to all.
“Yeah, I woke up drenched.” Jurian said.
Jacob shot Drew an evil grin, “Drenched were you hm?” he leered. It was widely known on the island that Drew preferred men. Before Drew could smack Jacob for the jib, he was examining Jurian’s foot.
“Feeling nauseated, confused, have a headache?” Jacobs asked while probing Jurian’s ankle gently.
“Sore yes, nauseous no. Just exhausted.” Jurian winching as Jacob hit several sore spots.
“Hmm…” Jacob mused. “Nothing broken but a nasty sprain.” He tapped up the foot. “No concussion I think. You lodging in town?”
“Yeah, Seaborne B&B.” Jurian replied relaxing back into the couch.
“Ah Manila’s place, on vacation then.” Jacob was packing his equipment.
“Something like that.” Jurian said, shifting his gaze.
“Well you can’t walk on that foot for at least a week. The walk along the beach to get you here, made a bad foot even worse! I’ve a crutch in my car you can use.”
“I should get going.” Jurian started to right himself and before Drew could interject Jacob stepped in holding down Jurian’s shoulder.
“I think not my boy!” Stunning Jurian with his fatherlier authority. “Manila’s place is full of stairs, no stairs for you!” Jacob boomed again. “Andrew! You have a ground floor guest room right?”
Drew nodded turning to Jurian “Your welcome to the room.”
Jurian seemed surprised yet hesitant “You sure? I mean I’m more trouble than I’m worth right now.”
“You stay here, doctors order!” Jacob laughed slapping Drew’s back good-naturedly. “I’ll have your things brought over. Don’t worry about Manila.” With this he stepped out the door retrieving the crutch from the car boot. Drew followed him out.
“Quite intriguing our mystery man hm?” Jacob winked his cheeks red and twinkling.
“His name is Jurian Bergan.” Drew said ignoring the wink.
“Ah! Viking blood!” Jacob laughed shaking his whole impressive belly. “Very good, let him rest, nurse him tender and he’ll soon be putty in your hands.”
“Jacob I don’t think…” Drew started.
‘That’s it! Don’t think! Now trot back inside and see to your lad.” Jacob squeezed into his car and drove off. Jacob, Drew smiled shaking his head, doctor, father and matchmaker to all.
Drew reheated the milk and finish making the grog. Jurian gladly accepted it lacing his long finger around mug to warm them.
“It will seep into your bones and do you good.” Drew sat down sinking into his favourite armchair. Relaxing into the soft cushion stretching his legs, he hadn’t really taken note of how tired he felt. Ralf positioned himself on the floor between them contently chewing a toy. He liked chewing his toy, it squeaked sometimes and tasted good.
“I’m sorry about the chair.” Jurian said disrupting Drew’s thoughts
He looked up “Huh what?”
Jurian pointed to the armchair he’d collapsed into earlier. The cushions were soaked, stained and dirty.
Drew shrugged “It is just a chair Jurian, nothing important.” he hadn’t been bothered about the chair at the time, there had been something more important in his arms.
It was a sweet thing to say though.
“How do you know my name?” Jurian asked. Drew turned to answer and froze hooked in Jurian’s gaze. Maybe it was the proximity or the strangeness of the situation but those shiny sandy eyes transfixed him. He quickly regained his power of speech hoping Jurian had had enough grog not to notice.
“I’m sorry I saw your identity card while drying out your wallet. It was soaked through.” He replied apologetically.
“Oh no, its fine.” Jurian gave him a small tired smile, attacking Drew’s chest again. He’d have to brace himself for those smiles; they could end up seriously injuring him. “I couldn’t remember telling you that’s all.”
“Drew Croft and this is Ralf.” Gesturing to the dog between them.
“Jurian Bergan” He held out his hand flashing Drew another smile, a real one this time. “But you know that already.” Drew took the warm hand in his, the skin felt rough and coarse. “You live alone? Seems no one else lives around here.” Jurian asked.
Drew nodded “That’s the way I like it. Home and workplace all in one.”
“What do you do?” Jurian asked before he could stop himself. “Sorry if I being nosy.” Drew laughed at Jurian’s worried face. Come one man you’re killing me here.
Instead he said. “Nah, don’t worry. I have nothing to hide you’re my guest anyway.” Drew sipped his grog. “I’m a writer but edit and proofread mainly. It was a little tricky to set up a home office at first.” He explained reading Jurian’s quizzical expression. “But I’ve been here a few years now and I settled just fine.”
“You’re not from around here.” it was a statement not a question.
Drew nodded chuckeling “Oh no, big city lad me. Born and raise on noise and smog.”
“How did you get here?” Jurian’s interest clearly peeked.
“I had an uncle on the island, visited him a few years back and completely fell in love with the place.” Drew turned his head to Jurian and smiled. “No noise you see, albeit the silence can be quite loud at times. Basically never left.” Drew felt so relaxed in his armchair he could feel the fatigue start to numb him. “You?”
“Carpenter.” Jurian replied. That explained the coarseness of his hands. “Wanted a change of scenery.” he sighed. Drew could hear the exhaustion is Jurian’s voice and decided it would best to call it a night.
“You look dead on your feet Jurian and so am I. Come one I’ll show you to your bedroom.” Jurian managed the crutch to the bedroom just off the main living area.
‘I’ll bring you something to sleep in.” Drew left Jurian sitting on the big bed. When he returned holding an old tank top Jurian lay already fast asleep on top of the covers. Drew suppressed a smile and grabbed a blanket to cover him; Jurian seemed completely out of it.
Drew knew that if he wanted to, he could undress the handsome man and place him in the bed instead of leaving him on it, naked. But somehow it didn’t seem right. He sat down on the edge of the bed and let his guard down for the first time that day. Drew reached up and did something he’d been aching to do since he’d first laid eyes on Jurian.
He softly slid his fingers through the thick sandy hair; it was soft and luxurious to the touch. Drew sighed, he’d probably never get the chance to do this again. He hesitated for a moment before bending down to plant a soft kiss on Jurian forehead. His skin cool and smooth against Drew’s lips.
“Goodnight pup.” He whispered moving away from the bed. He flipped the lights and gently closed the door behind him. Closing his heart along with it.
—
Jurian slowly opened his eyes grunting he’d been out like a light, best sleep he’d had in ages. He tried to stretch his sore limbs winching at a pang of pain in his left foot. Yesterday come flooding back. Oh no…
Slowly sitting up he looked around the warm amber coloured room, his luggage stored neatly by the door. The clock on the bedside table accusing him of tardiness. A little confused at still being fully dressed he took the crutch, hobbled towards his luggage and fished out some fresh gear to change into.
Opening the bedroom door he heard someone pottering around in the kitchen. Once in the bathroom, Jurian examined himself in the mirror. For the first time in a while he looked rested, the circles under his eyes seemed lighter and his cheeks had some colour to them. He shaved, washed and changed his clothes, slipping into his favourite blue seaman’s jumper. It was warm, enveloping him like a hug and smelled like home.
Entering the kitchen Ralf was the first to greet him. Jurian smiled down at the animal, such a gentle dog he thought while Ralf pushed his nose against Jurian’s leg affectionately.
“Morning”
Jurian looked up to reply the same but ended mumbling something incoherent. He’s been too ashamed to fully take Drew in yesterday, between the fall and the shower his embarrassment complete. Drew stood pouring coffee into a cup and for a moment Jurian couldn’t look away. He was slightly shorter than Jurian, dark chocolate brown hair and clear shiny blue eyes. His black woolen jumper hugged his solid slim frame nicely.
“Coffee?” Drew asked, Jurian nodded sitting down. “Milk, sugar?”
“Black.” He smiled nervously. Why am I nervous? Drew handed Jurian his coffee taking up a chair opposite him.
“I need to thank you for yesterday.” Jurian said looking down fidgeting with his coffee cup.
“You were lucky, that is what you were, that I happened to be on the beach at all. Hardly anyone lives around here; no one ever visits this place. A beach facing north is always cold and the wind never lets up.” Drew sipped from his cup. “Did you come by car? I didn’t see one around.” he asked furrowing his brow as he thought about it. It was cute.
“Took a bus and walked.” The coffee was incredible; smooth yet rich and deep.
“You walked from the bus stop?” Drew remarked incredulously. “That’d take hours!”
“It did.” Jurian conceded. Drew leaned back into the chair looking at Jurian frowning in thought. “I just chose a bus stop and started walking.” Jurian said staring at his cup.
“Why?”
Jurian turned his gaze to his coffeecup again surprised at the intensity of Drew’s stare; it took him a minute to find his voice.
“To get lost.” He replied quietly returning the stare.
“Why?” Drew repeated his brow furrowing again.
“To find my way again.” He answered. Drew held on to Jurian gaze, almost trying to lift the thoughts from his eyes. It held him captive; there was no escape, no place to hide. Jurian swallowed hard, his heart throbbed in this chest. What the hell heart?
Ralf broke the spell with a loud bark and scratching his food bowl. Without a word Drew left the table, scooped up Ralf’s bowl to fill it up. Purposely keeping his body turned away from Jurian.
Jurian tried to regain his composure. Ok…. What was that?
“I’m sorry to say your phone didn’t survive. I fished the data card out which should be ok it didn’t look damaged.”
“Thanks the phone was worthless but my contacts aren’t.” Jurian mused relieved at the change of topic. “I should write them down or something.”
Drew smiled “I still remember my parents and uncles landline by heart. They were drilled into me long enough. Nowadays I hardly remember my own. Your skill-set shift as technology does I suppose.” He refilled his and Jurian’s cups. “I have a spare somewhere I could dig up, you’re welcome to use it. It isn’t anything fancy though.” Drew turned to the fridge rummaging around in search of something.
“Perfect. I don’t do fancy.” Jurian replied grinning as Drew placed food in front of him. The cold platter looked delicious it made Jurian’s mouth water. Savory just how Jurian liked it. He couldn’t stomach sweet stuff in the morning.
“I’ll not know what to do if you keep being this nice to me.” Jurian said the words before he even registered the thought. His heart sank.
Why did I say that?! He groaned internally.
It made him sound so ungrateful. Here was a man going above and beyond to help him. Him. A complete stranger. Jurian shifted his weight fumbling with his cutlery peeking up at Drew standing beside the table with the blue coffeepot in his hands. He stared down at Jurian a skeptical expression on his face. Slowly placing the coffeepot on the table he resumed his seat.
“Now listen here.” Drew started locking their gazes securely. His voice was low yet firm. “You were hurt, I helped you. You needed care. I gave it. You need a place to stay. I provided it. You’re hungry. I feed you. I’m not about to kick you out for taking up my time or eating me out of house and home. I don’t feel unsafe with you here and I don’t feel uncomfortable.” Drew paused, Jurian stuck motionless in his seat.
“Although I am curious,” he continued. “I like the seclusion and the quiet but in reality it can be lonely too.” Drew’s lips smiled but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “That being said if you feel uncomfortable or confined here I can take you to the harbour. Manila is keeping the room free just in case.” Speech finished he leaned back into the chair.
Jurian stayed silent for a long time, when he finally looked up the words just spilled out.
“I’m sorry. I’m not uncomfortable at all. I’ve never been good at accepting help from others, I feel … indebted.”
“You’re at a friend’s house. Just take what I offer and no more talk about being indebted alright?”
Jurian nodded, visibly relaxing enough to start eating. Then a thought struck him, fork halfway to his mouth he returned his gaze to Drew.
“What are you curious about?”
“You naturally. Getting yourself lost out here, no backpack no map. You don’t act like the average tourist.
“Well I’m not on vacation.” Forking food in his mouth. Drew remained quiet obviously waiting for Jurian to continue. “I’m here for a job interview.” Jurian said returning to his food. Suddenly Drew’s whole face brightened right up.
So cute…. Damn… just concentrate on your food.
“Really? On the island? Where?” Drew shuffled in his chair sitting straighter, the biggest smile on his face Jurian had seen to date. The bright smile was infection and mesmerizing.
Jurian quickly returned his focus to his food, before he started hyperventilating. The food was simply put amazing; he had no idea how Drew made modest things taste so bloody good.
“At Ancum’s Hands On.”
Drew’s brow furrowed and again Jurian noted how cute that was.
“Eoghan’s shop? Isn’t he an odd job man?”
“He advertised for a specialized carpenter. No one here has the qualifications or specialized skill-set.” Jurian explained. He’d met Mr. Ancum before coming down to the beach. The man had a good eye for business and the interview had gone well.
“And?” Drew urged.
Jurian grinned, “I’m more than qualified. He seemed pleased with me and a bit puzzled I think.”
“Why?”
“Wondered why I applied for a job so far from home.” Jurian had steadily worked his way through his food. Feeling satisfied he pushed his empty plate slightly away from him. “Thank you for the food it was incredible. How did you make it taste so good?”
“Herbs” Drew reply nonchalantly, obviously mulling over the same thing Mr. Ancum had. He opened his mouth to say something but clearly thought the better of it remaining silent.
“I have nothing keeping me there.” Jurian answered.
“No girlfriend?”
Jurian chuckled shaking his head “No, nothing like that. I did have a steady relationship a while back but they didn’t seem to be what I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for?”
Jurian looked up grinning “I’ll let you know when I find out.” Drew returned his grin but then furrowed his brow once again. Drew was on a roll today.
“What about your parents and your sister?” Drew asked absorbed in their conversation.
Jurian froze; he shifted his gaze to the table. A now familiar unavoidable sadness swept through him. How did he know about Annelie?
Drew evidently saw the sudden shift in Jurian’s demeanor he seemed to visibly fold in on himself. Alarmed Drew babbled an apology. It was none of his business. He’d seen their photograph while drying out Jurian’s wallet. He really didn’t mean to pry…
Jurian shook he head. “No, no. No need to apologize Drew. You just always seem to know things, I haven’t told you yet.” He gave Drew a weak smile, conveying there was no harm done. Actually thankful the photo had been saved.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Drew said obviously upset he distressed Jurian so. Jurian stared down at his hands on the table; he felt … calm?
“No it’s no secret.” Anyone could find out via the right stoke of keys. Jurian inhaled a deep ragged breath. “A drunk driver, about a year ago now. All three.” Jurian kept his eyes down, feeling a warm hand grasp his own.
“I’m so sorry.” It was a whisper, a few words of consolation for a situation where there were no right words. But they did reach down into Jurian’s heart. Maybe it was the tone of voice, the sincerity in the intimate whisper or the comfort of a warm hand on his. It made Jurian shift his hand to hold Drew’s, keeping his eyes cast down.
He felt the hand transfer comforting warmth to him; it slowly travelled up his arm into his body. It was an indescribable soothing sensation; it left Jurian feeling strangely off balance. They both jumped at the sound of the telephone ringing. Drew left the table pulling his hand out of Jurian’s, leaving an empty space behind.
“Corft’s Croft” Drew spoke into the phone. “Ah Eoghan, I thought I’d be hearing from you soon.” Drew turned grinning a wink at Jurian still sitting at the kitchen table. “What can I do for you?” As Drew chatted on the phone Jurian tried to hold on to that soft soothing warmth now traveling through his whole body, balancing him even again.
—
The next morning Julian woke up and groaned as he checked the clock. Five o`clock is too frigging early! His throat was dry and sleep seemed to be avoiding him. Struggling out of bed he hobbled his way to the kitchen. This far north night was never very dark even in the middle of the night. The early in the morning the sky was a light as midday.
Taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water Jurian happened to peep out of the window overlooking the sea. Promptly spilling water all over the countertop.
“Oh Bugger.” he cursed as the flood dripped down the cabinet doors. Moping up the water he peeped out of the windows again.
There was no mistaking it.
Standing not a few meters away from the waters edge stood a stark naked Drew in all this morning glory. His back turned to the house he stood looking out over the sea. Arms folded across his chest, legs slightly parted for a solid stance in the sand. Ralf sat on his hunches next to him. The site of them both looking out towards the sea in hushed seriousness might have been comical to Jurian if it hadn’t completely floored him.
Drew had fair and smooth skin all the way down, his frame solid yet slim. While his muscles hinted at regular exercise and attention, he wasn’t overly buff. Hardly any hair covered his body and Jurian’s eyes were drawn to a firm and smooth rear. Adorably dimpling ever so slightly. Jurian had to catch his breath and remind himself to inhale and exhale regularly. He stood there in the kitchen for it seemed an eternity transfixed, not even thinking of turning away.
Drew started walking quickly progressing to running, splashing water and diving into the sea once deep enough. Ralf padded at the edge behind him not following his master all the way.
Jurian mouth dropped, shocked and wide-eyed he saw Drew swim a few minutes. Only when Drew stood up returning to the beach, did Jurian come back to his senses. Retreating to his room forgetting all about the water quietly scrawling back into bed he laid there eyes wide open. The site of Drew’s body shaking the water off and walking towards the house completely stumped him. Pulling up the covers and burying his reddening face in his pillow he couldn’t stop recalling what he’d seen. He pressed his enthusiastic groin into the mattress. Oh no…what am I going to do now?
—
Drew loved rising early; it made him feel so alive. The quick morning splash was a thrill he enjoyed most of all. Only staying in the water a few minutes, so his core temperature wouldn’t sink too low. Taking a shower to wash off the salt and stepping into clean warm clothes held a special feeling of comfort for Drew.
In the kitchen he made coffee and breakfast, setting a plate aside for Jurian. He’d noticed Jurian growing restless yesterday, shambling in an out of every room.
Obviously bored out of his wits!
Maybe recovering at the harbour would have been better for him? People on the streets, pub around the corner, shops down the road. People are always nicer to someone with an injury. It was a good icebreaker.
He’d need to start creating social ties if he was to live here. Drew had been shaken at how delighted he was hearing Jurian’s move to the island might be permanent. He’d have to keep himself in check from now on. He mustn’t at all costs show Jurian the attraction he felt towards him. Heart beating every time Jurian grinned, body leaning forward at the sound of Jurian’s voice, the ease of having him around.
It was ridiculous that was what it was!
He’d known the man for all but three days for crying out loud! Naturally this was the moment Jurian chose to enter the kitchen. Rumpled hair, sleepy eyes looking both adorable and delectable at the same time. That face should be against the law. Drew had to steady himself; shut up hormones we’ve just been through this!
“You’re up early! It just gone seven.” He said instead reaching for a red cup from the overhead compartment.
“Woke up, couldn’t sleep, got up.” He shrugged sitting down to what was rapidly becoming his chair at the kitchen table.
“Good, we can eat together. I have to go to the harbour today, why don’t you come along? There’s a good lunch at the pub Jacob probably wants a progress report while we are there.” He handed Jurian a cup hot coffee.
“At the pub?”
“Aka his ‘office’.” Drew grinned setting the table, Jurian laughed out loud. It was a warm and hearty laugh.
“Alright. But lunch is on me.”
Drew agreed placing the food on the table sitting down. He’d have to ask, he really did. There was no way around it. Even though he was dreading the possible outcome.
“Would you rather stay at the harbour?” Drew asked swallowing hard. “In a place like this it is best to show your face around as soon as possible. You’ll be the talk of the town as it is.”
Jurian shook his head. “No I like it here. Unless you…” cradling the warm cup in his hands
“NO!” Drew interrupted a little too strongly. Dammit! “My offer still stands for as long as you need. There is just not a lot for you to do here. I was thinking maybe we could setup a desk for you in the study. You could work on your sketches if you wanted.” There was an old desk in the shed they could modify…
Jurian cocked him an eyebrow.
“What?” Drew asked. Had he been too eager? Did that sound too desperate? Was Jurian going to leave? He silently panicked, chest tightening stomach churning. Breathe!
“You’re doing it again.” Jurian’s gaze softened, Drew relaxed a little, exhaling again.
“What?”
“Knowing things I haven’t told you yet.”
Drew threw up his hands “I wasn’t snooping I swear! When Manila packed up your stuff at the B&B she couldn’t fit your sketch folder into your luggage. She told me about them when dropping your things off. Cause she is a snoop.”
“No secrets on an island huh?” Jurian smiled to himself.
“Not many at least.”
“… You sure you have the room?” Jurian asked warming up to the idea.
“Have you seen this place? I have nothing but room!” Jurian grinned again; Drew ignored the now familiar thud in his chest as the killer grin hit. He hoped Jurian would never notice it. He didn’t want to lose this budding friendship. He’d lost too many straight friends like that before.
After breakfast Drew put in an hour or two of work while Jurian amused himself on his laptop and playing tug of war with Ralf. Ralf quickly grew bored with Jurian’s immobility trotting off to beleaguer Drew.
They loaded themselves into Drew’s car around midmorning, heading towards the harbour. Listening to the radio, chatting about bands they liked. Happy to agree on some songs and declaring the other insane for defending what obviously was an untalented bunch of crowing hags. Discovering they both attended the same festivals and concerts but one never once remembering seeing the other.
“You wouldn’t have noticed me.” Drew chuckled staring ahead of him at the road.
“Why’d you say that?”
“I mostly stood back at the edge of the crowd. Quietly. You seem more of a front row kind of man.”
“No way. Dead centre. Close enough to enjoy but far away from the moshpit. Anyway I like the quiet types. They’re always more interesting.” Jurian said elbow propped against the car door chin in hand, turning to stare out of the window. Drew didn’t know what to make of that so decided to dissect its meaning later.
“There is an art supply shop in the centre if you need anything. You could take your time while I run my errands. We could meet up at the pub later if you’d like. You like fish?”
“Drew, I’m Norwegian. I eat fish trust me. My mother had this amazing fish stew smelts in your mouth. I’ll make it for you sometime.”
Drew smiled “I’d like that.” He really did.
—
In the harbour Drew directed Jurian towards the art supply shop and told him which pub to meet him later. Jurian hobbled around the harbour site for a while before turning in search for the art supply shop.
The owner seemed to know exactly who Jurian was, why he was there and what he needed. Her name was Corinna; a plump older lady with pink hair. Continuously fluttering her eyelashes she kept commenting on how the island was in need of fresh blood like his.
Jurian grew more and more uncomfortable waiting for her to tally up the total. He paid with a tight-lipped smile and hobbled out of the shop as fast as he could. Arriving at the Siller darlins Inn nicely on time.
As Jurian entered, everyone in the pub fell silent. It was one of those ridiculous film scenes to make the main character feel awkward and out of place. It would have been funny if it hadn’t embarrassed the hell out of him.
“Mr. Bergan!” A loud voice boomed. Dr. Jacob striding towards him from the bar arms spread wide. “How’s the foot lad?” Dr. Jacob asked he had red cheeks and tinkling eyes. He’d make a perfect Father Christmas, if he whitened his hair and beard he even had the pink rosy cheeks. Dr. Jacob steered Jurian to an empty table fetching them both a drink.
“So tell me lad. How is your stay at Andrew’s going?” He asked as he sat down giving Jurian his cider. Without waiting for a reply Dr. Jacob cut in. “Good man that Andrew, heart of gold. Little quiet but fierce none-the-less. Don’t get on his bad side that is all I can say.” The man didn’t seem to need a weight in on this. “Knew his uncle Dougal too. That man could tell stories that’d make your chest hair fall off and your cheeks burn for days.” Dr. Jacob’s entire body shook as he chuckled in reminiscence. The previous discomfort Jurian had felt in the art supply shop ebbed away. “So I hear you’ll be staying on at Ancums place hm?” This time Dr. Jacob did fall silent waiting.
“Oh… Well he said he’d let me know by the end of the week.”
“Lad never mind that he probably made up his mind the moment you set foot in his office. He’s been here bragging about you all week!”
The door opened and Drew entered with Ralf on his heels. He spotted Jurian and Jacob, signalled the barmaid and taking the bench seat next to Jurian.
“Got everything you need?” He asked Jurian flashing him a crooked smile he hadn’t seen before.
“The owner seemed to know exactly who I was and why I was there.” Jurian smiled back, he felt the last embers of stress slow away with Drew sitting so close next to him. He noticed a twinkle in Drew’s eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Told you so. Bumped into Eoghan, he told me to say he’ll be calling you with good news tonight so we all know what that means!” Drew proud grin seemed infectious as Jurian caught himself stupidly grinning back like an idiot.
….Gods he’s handsome.
“Oh so this is our new man is it?” A sultry voice intruded their private little bubble. Jurian looked up a little annoyed to have to take his eyes off Drew. The barmaid stood by their table with Drew’s drink in her hand. A clear knockout by any standards and smiling alluringly at him.
“It’ll be nice to have some fresh blood around.” She leered. What was it with the women on this island? Jurian smiled politely. “Nice to see you finally come up. Croft here has been keeping you all to himself. I was worried he was trying to turn you or something.”
What an odd thing to say.
Drew smile disappeared turning into a glare. A sudden urge to step in and shield Drew from this silly barmaid overcame him.
“Excuse me?” he asked reminding himself to remain at least polite.
The barmaid seemed oblivious to the sudden change in mood at the table.
“Oh? You don’t know?” She smirked.
“Arleen.” Drew almost growled.
“You’ll be searching for something permanent in ways of lodgings soon enough then.” Arleen shrugged playing up her ample bosom. “Call me when you do, I know all the good places.” She purred before returning to the bar eying Ralf with selected disgust.
“Are all the women on this island so…”
“Pushy? It’s an island thing. But Arleen just doesn’t like me very much.”
“Why?” Who could not like Drew? He’s great.
“I turned her down once. She was not amused.”
“Hell hath no fury hm?” Dr. Jacob boomed laughing instantly lightening the mood. They had a pleasant lunch with Dr. Jacob, laughing at his stories about the island. The Arleen incident completely forgotten.
—
The trip had taken its toll on Jurian so Drew insisted he rest on the couch for a while. Giving Drew time to dig out the desk from the shed. After some time Jurian joined him to adjust the desk so the top angled for sketching. Jurian definitely knew the tricks of his trade as Drew watched his hands work the wood. Once the desk had been moved to Drew’s office, Jurian sat amazed at the beautiful lightness of the room. The whole house spread an air of spacious cosiness. Light and airy rooms set off with snug and cosy spaces.
He couldn’t suppress a chuckle when he saw Drew’s desk, for someone who lived very neatly, his enormous desk was a disarray of scruffy papers and open books. Jurian wasn’t the tidiest person in the world to say the least but he kept his workspace immaculate.
The next couple of days passed in an easy routine.
At five o’clock in the morning Jurian peeked out of the window to see Drew preform his morning ritual. Joining him for breakfast promptly at seven. Afterward retreating into the office where Drew wrote and Jurian worked on the boat plans. Each from time to time turning to the other for advice, a chat or a stealthy stare. A light lunch and a long walk on the beach to excise Ralf at midday. Jurian could walk without his crutch now only limping slightly. He swore the pain was almost gone whenever Drew asked about it.
Jurian started at Ancum’s the following month. This island was going to be home from now one and arranged for his belongings to be shipped over. He really should start looking for a place soon…
—
A few days later Jurian had a visitor. Drew had seen the car approach from miles away. Ralf barked as the car door slammed outside.
“There is someone at the door for you Jurian.” Drew shouted from the office before the doorbell rang. Curious Jurian hobbled heading toward front door, a second impatient ring sounded before he could open it.
It was not a welcome sight.
“Oh. Hello Arleen.” Jurian smiled weakly.
“I see you are feeling better! Walking around and everything.”
“I could walk around before Arleen just no that so easily.”
“Here I brought you this.”
“A pie?” Jurian suppressed a cringe; he wasn’t keen on sweets.
“An apple crumble! Everyone like an apple crumble!” Arleen smiled brushing passed him into the house to Jurian’s great annoyance. She pivoted towards the kitchen placing the crumble on the countertop. “Croft not around?”
“Drew’s in the office.” Jurian replied her answering leer worried him instantly.
“It can’t be healthy for a young strapping man as yourself to be stuck in this hole all day long.” She said creeping closer, making the most of the swaying curves.
“It’s a great place.” Does this woman have any sense?
“You know you should come down to the harbour more often. Let your hair down.”
“Maybe…” ...not.
“Great! It’s a date then. I’ll cook for you, I’m a great cook.” She smiled smugly whisking around disappearing out through the door.
“Wait what?” Jurian fumbled there for a moment utterly confused.
Drew stood by the office door; he gave Jurian an amused yet strained smile. Abruptly vanishing into the office closing the door behind him.
—
Dinner became an experience they both looked forward to each night. Drew cooked while Jurian sat at his accustomed chair in the kitchen idly chatting away. Followed by a great meal submerged in eager conversation.
“You can take the desk with you when you find a place of your own, you know.” Drew blurted out one night, he hadn’t meant to raise the topic of moving but knew he couldn’t keep Jurian to himself forever.
Drew came to realize just how badly he seemed to be drawn to Jurian, a magnetism growing stronger and more charged day by day; the electricity surging through the air as they talked. His heartbeat racing every time Jurian stood too close.
He’d resorted to keeping Jurian at arms length at all times. The most important and hardest thing of all was keeping his feelings locked up. Jurian would be living on the island too from now and the friendship they developed with such comfort and ease would otherwise become awkward. He didn’t want that to happen.
Jurian face betrayed his surprize.
“Oh yes. Yes of course.” He nodded although the words sounded forced. “You’ll be wanting the place back to yourself.”
Drew’s heart sank instantaneously at the sight of Jurian’s sad face. Drew you twit! He leaned over their dinner plates, laying his hand on Jurian’s arm.
“No, I’ve lived alone for a long time. I’m enjoying the companionship much more than I though I would.” He inhaled, forcing himself to stay focused while looking into those clear hazel eyes. “You can stay as long as you like. I just thought you’d want your own place soon since you’ll be staying on.” He exhaled. “As long as you don’t ask Arleen for housing advice!” he smiled. Jurian snorted at the comment.
—
The phone rang one night while Drew cooked. Jurian was still amazed at Drew’s skill in the kitchen. He himself had never gone passed making coffee and frying burned eggs.
He picked up the phone. “Croft’s Croft.”
“Jurian!”
“Oh. Arleen.” Drew and Jurian shared a quick glance. Be nice.
“When are you coming down to the harbour for our date?”
“Our date?” Seriously is it the gene pool here or something?
“Yes! I ‘m not working Saturday. I’ll pick you up at six. “
“Arleen I don’t date.” There. A clear statement.
“Don’t be silly Juri, you need to get out more! Be around a woman for a change.” Jurian cringed he hated any abbreviation of his name. This woman was doing herself no favours.
“Arleen, I don’t date.” Jurian was watching Drew’s figure working in the kitchen. He was moving very slowly, quietly listening in on the conversation. …Well I don’t date women…
“Of course you do, I’ll be there Saturday at six.”
Oh for fucks sake! …“I am not here this weekend.” He lied.
“Your not booked out of this island I checked.” Arleen accused softly.
Jurian grew still, fuming. Admittedly he’d lied but checking up on him? Ok no more Mr Nice Gay. Annelie would have thought of a better excuse, probably something fantastically outrageous.
“Ok I didn’t want to tell you Arleen. But I woke up with weird marks on my body this morning and so I’m going to go see a UFO specialist…. because… I think I was … abducted by aliens.” Jurian blurted out, silence on either end of the line. Well at least that shut her up. He saw Drew’s shoulders shake out of the corner of his eye. “Sorry Arleen, we’ll catch up another time. Ralf just dragged a dolphin in. Making a right mess on the carpet.” He quickly hung up.
Drew couldn’t stop his laughing, as Jurian hung up on Arleen he spun around pointing his chopping knife at him.
“Don’t drag Ralf into this. She hates him enough as it is.”
Jurian shrugged, resuming his seat at the kitchen table. “Ralf’s my wingman.” He said scratching the dog behind his ears smiling down at him. Drew felt a surge of longing surface at the small display of affection. He put a tight grip on those feelings, locking them away deep down turning his back to Jurian. It was agony; shear agony turning away from him every time.
“You don’t date? Or just not Arleen?” He tried to sound off hand. Can you look nonchalant while chopping food with a large knife?
“I’m picky guess. I don’t like the flashy types.”
“Arleen’s out of the boat then.” Drew said smiling. “Don’t worry there are many single woman on the island and not many single men. What is your type?” He heard Jurian sigh behind his back. Bad question?
“I like… “He paused. “Fair skin, dark hair and bright eyes. But looks are what they are. I like the quiet ones.” There was a short silence between them cut only by the sound of Drew chopping. “You?”
I like boxer shorts, broad shoulders, long legs and flat smooth chests. Your hair, your eyes… your lips… Drew swallowed hard pushing the imageries of a naked Jurian showering firmly away.
“I like someone who knows their own mind. Island mentality can get in the way of a lot of things around here.” Drew remembered the two teenage boys who’d come to his house not long after he arrived on the island. Word about his preference had gotten around fast.
First a nervous young Acair knocked on his door seeking advice. Drew recognised the internal struggle the boy seemed to vibrate. They had a good talk and Drew politely decline Acairs shambled advances.
A week later Darren had been walking his dog on Drews beach ‘coincidently’ bumping into him. Darren seemed comfortable with his sexuality just firmly in the closet. Drew had discreetly dropped a few hints and said a few words, both boys seemed very happy now.
He heard the chair behind him scrap and Jurian move around. Suddenly Drew was assailed with enticing masculine sent as Jurian stood closely behind him reaching for a cup from the overhead compartment.
Drew wanted nothing more than to turn around bury his face into the armpit a hairsbreadth away. He wanted to throw him down and ripped his clothes off him. He wanted to roam his hands on that broad chest freely and taste his skin. The desire was almost painful. Drew kept his eyes cast down, slowly putting the knife down trembling hands make a dangerous cook. Jurian moved away and Drew aloud himself to exhale again. He remained silent for a few minutes, concentrating on his breathing.
Inhale, exhale… inhale. Exhale.
Jurian seemed oblivious to the effect he had on Drew.
—
Jurian refused to answer the phone after Arleen called twice more. He’d hid in the bedroom while Corinne and her blue haired twin sister Catherine came for a surprise visit feigning sleep. They’d left with the promise of bringing their unmarried niece Karin (delightful lass) with them next time.
Jurian and Drew sat working in the office one afternoon; the room visibly darkened black clouds rolling in. Jurian bent over his sketches absorbed in his work. Drew stared out of the window, he’d been checking the local weather reports and island sightings.
“The island is on alert. A big storm’s heading our way from the mainland, we should lock up tight tonight. I have large shutters for the windows in the shed. Storms can be quite long and vicious here.”
Jurian straightened up frowning as he peered out of the window. “Hmm I see. We should exercise Ralf before we get locked in for too long.” He said returning his attention to his plans. Drew smiled; he was really starting to love this man….
Wait what? No, absolutely not. No way no how not a chance.
Rattled Drew forced himself back to work. Rejecting any other reckless thoughts he may have.
—
Later that afternoon Jurian helped Drew prepare the house for the coming storm. Jurian knew he had to find his own place. He really did. Jurian had started enquiring around the island. But to be honest his heart wasn’t into it.
Jurian didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to sever this intimate connection he and Drew shared here. With every passing hour and in every conversation, he felt himself open up again. The comforting warmth he’d experienced with that first touch had only grown. In no time this house had become home. A feeling he’d thought he’d lost.
Even though their bond had become a true friendship, there was something keeping them off balance. Every time he’d move closer Drew pulled away. Every time a silence feel and their eyes locked with rising desire building behind them Drew jumped up and fled the room.
Drew was afraid.
Sensing Jurian’s attraction to him, he tried to create a proper distance between them.
Jurian was torn.
Hoisting the shutters to the large seafront windows they hooked each shutter neatly in place. The cold tore through his thick jumper the wind had picked up considerably; ominous cumulonimbus clouds lined the horizon.
“Doesn’t look good.” Jurian commented as they stood outside surveying the turbulent sea.
“No. It doesn’t, the island is on lockdown. Could last days probably.”
“So… no surprise visits from Arleen?” Jurian smiled, he’d come to dread hearing her voice. “I think I like this storm.”
“Although that is a perk, don’t rejoice too soon. You’ll be cooped up with me and Ralf in a dark house until this blows over… I’m not kidding.”
“I could think of worse things.” He could, moving away was one of them.
With all the blinds closed and the shutters covering the large windows, the house had become endarkened and cold. Jurian and Drew covered themselves with warm quilts snuggled in the big blue couch. They were set to watch the film, Big Fish, while the storm raged outside, wind blown and rain thrashing against the shutters. Sharing the quilts meant sharing their body heat, Drew kept a polite strip of space between them.
It was driving Jurian insane. Al these mixed signals were so confusing. He had no idea what to make of it. There was probably no interest further than friendship from Drew. But at times Jurian could swear there was an undercurrent of stronger emotion coursing between them.
But Drew always pulled away.
Turning down Arleen didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in women, just not overbearing pushy women. Jurian tried to picture Drew with a woman, a girlfriend. His arms around her, smiling at her and kissing her. The image depressed Jurian so much he pushed it out of his mind.
Glum he pulled his knees up under his chin; he could really use Annelie’s advice at this point. Younger as she’d been she always knew what to do whenever he came to her with boy problems. Always encouraging and supportive. She’d stood by him when he came out to his parents on his sixteenth birthday. Giving him an ‘I told you so’ when his parents paused, smiled and hugged him demanding granddogs in their future. Jurian turned to look at Ralf nestled against him on the sofa, he sighed stroking his head softly. They never did get their wish.
“What’s wrong?” Drew whispered. Jurian looked sideways even more solemn at the prospect of never holding Drew the way he wanted to so badly.
—
During the film Drew realized this may not be the best one to watch with someone who’d recently lost his entire family. He heard Jurian sigh and saw him stroke Ralf’s head gently. His features betrayed such sadness, it was all Drew could do not to reach over and wrap him in his arms. To comfort him, to hold him, to stroke his hair and tell him everything would be all right.
“What’s wrong?” Drew whispered, trying to bring him back from his silent reverie. Jurian turned to look at him a pit opened in Drew’s stomach the pain he saw almost palatable.
“This film always makes me sad. It reminds me of my family.”
Drew placed his right hand on Jurian’s left laying in the small space between them on the couch. Jurian automatically opened his hand to grip Drews. Such a natural gesture no thought put towards it.
“You would have like them you know. Specially Annelie, the father in this film reminds me of her. It is so much like how she was.” Jurian laid his ear on the knees speaking and smiling softly. He hadn’t said much about his family while he’d been here. Jurian was opening up another little door inside him. He pivoted his head to look at Ralf, a slightly bigger smile on his face. “Ralf just reminded me of how my parent had demanded future grand puppies when I came out to them.”
Drew smiled then froze as the words sunk in. While the storm raged on outside.
…Wait a minute… huh?
You’d expect this heart to surge and rejoice. You’d expect anything really. Yet he drew a complete black.
…!
Jurian turned his head to Drew again, his smile swiftly disappearing. Somewhere Drew registered his face was probably strapped in shock. Jurian pulled his hand away from Drews.
“Does that bother you?” Jurian’s voice broke towards the end of the question. He looked worried, scared ready to flee at a moments notice. Here he sat, this tall lean man, knees pulled up under his chin like a little kid, nervously waiting for Drew’s reaction. Any reaction.
Say something!
Say anything!!
…shit…
Gods Dammit spit it out!
I LOVE YOU!
I’M DEEPLY MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! YOU BASTARD!
“No” he finally croaked taking in a deep breath. “Not at all.” Drew’s heart jump-started in a triple beat. He’d never thought Jurian could prefer men. He hadn’t foreseen this. He didn’t have a plan for this; this was sailing without a chart.
Jurian slowly placed his hand back into Drew’s, gently interlacing their fingers while steadily holding Drew’s gaze. Jurian’s eyes softened their angst dissipating.
“Does this bother you?” he whispered tentatively
Drew swallowed hard again shaking his head. “No, absolutely not.”
They kept their eyes locked hearts racing. Another little door unlocked deep inside Jurian and Drew saw such emotion in those eyes it took his breath away. No hint of sadness or sorrow only vast affection and tenderness.
A loud thunderclap made Drew jump, breaking their eye contact. With that the bubble burst, feelings and emotions Drew had been repressing for almost a month washed over him. He panicked, jumped up and fled to the kitchen with a mumbled excuse.
Drew switched the kettle on, placing his hands on the countertop, closed his eyes, hung his head and paused… Inhale… exhale… Inhale… exhale…
He felt Jurian’s hand rest slightly on his shoulder, gently turning Drew around to face him. Drew kept his head down and eyes closed. Slowly Jurian moved in very close, he felt his body slightly pressing into Jurian’s. He gasped involuntarily.
“Drew?” Jurian’s voice was soft and gentle, it send chills down Drew’s spine. He felt those coarse hands against his cheeks, tilting his head upwards. “Please look at me Love.” Jurian implored, his voice embedding the words with every bit of tenderness and affection he could. The emotion so clear in his voice, Drew’s restraint broke and he instantly burst into tears.
—
Jurian was at a complete loss as to what to do. He’d taken a chance; he’d leapt without thinking and by some miracle Drew seemed to be responding. But then he burst out in tears in Jurian’s hands. Sobbing Drew slumped his head against Jurian’s chest. Jurian wrapped his arms around Drew’s shaking shoulders and did the only thing he could, he held him close.
After some time, Drew’s sobs lessened and his breathing steadied. Jurian continued to hold him, unsure of what to do. Drew dropped his arms and wound them around Jurian’s waist. In that exact instant all Jurian’s insecurity evaporated.
He just had to wait.
—
Drew slowly calmed down, wrapped in the warm safe cocoon of Jurian’s arms. He wound his own around Jurian’s waist. Feeling Jurian’s body through the fabric, breathing in his scent. He smelled even better than Drew could have ever imagined, musky with hints of sandalwood.
“I’m sorry” He muttered, embarrassed at the lack control he’d just displayed.
“What for?” With Drew pressed against Jurian’s chest, the voice resonated in Drew’s ear.
“Lost … I… its just…” Drew sighed his mind frazzled; coherent sentences seemed to be out of the question. He felt Jurian stroke his hair gently, lovingly. Pushing comprehensible speech even further out of the window.
Drew concentrated on his breathing once again when he felt he could speak without breaking down he took a deep breath.
“I never thought… Honestly never though you would ever….” He paused suppressing the shake in his voice. “Ever look at me the way you just did. I though you were straight. I tried so hard to keep myself in check. Tried so hard not to show ….” Drew hugged Jurian closer, reaffirming the moment was real.
“Drew look at me.” Drew clutched Jurian even tighter. “Love, look at me.” Jurian implored calmly. Drew finally lifted his head looking straight into those bright hazel eyes. Without a word Jurian bent down and brushed his lips against Drews. A light feathery kiss, slowly growing. Filling Drew with a soothing calmness rapidly expanding throughout his body. The emotion was so strong, the feeling so real it overwhelmed Drew. Tears rolled down he face as he gasped for air shocked at the intensity of the emotion.
“You felt that?” Jurian whispered against Drew’s ear, gently whipping the tears away. This thumb lingered caressing Drew’s cheek. “That is what you gave me the very first time you held my hand.” Drew pulled himself back from the warm embrace gently laying his hands of Jurian’s chest.
“Jurian, I… ‘ His voice broke again, he steadied himself this needed to be said. “Please stay, don’t move out yet.”
Jurian gathered Drew’s face in his hands, holding him gently staring intently in the eyes. “For as long as I’m welcome.” He said ducking placing his lips were they belonged.
—
Though the wind had subsided a little yet the rain was still hard and unrelenting the next morning. Jurian woke early without opening his eyes. He slowly assessed the situation. He was in a bed but it was not his usual bed nor was he alone. Drew lay sleeping softly in his arms.
Jurian bend forward brushing his lips against Drew’s hair, inhaling deeply. It smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. Jurian smiled against Drew’s hair completely content holding him just like this, it felt so good.
Drew had been emotionally exhausted last night. Jurian brought Drew to his room where they crawled into the bed fully clothed. As soon as he’d felt Jurian spoon close to him wrapping him in his arms Drew had promptly fallen asleep.
Jurian slightly moved his fingers caressing Drew’s chest. He felt Drew stir as he slowly woke up, for a moment Drew froze releasing a sigh when Jurian lowered head over more planting a soft kiss on Drew neck. Drew rolled over; he smiled lazily snuggling close to Jurian.
“Thank goodness. For a moment …” Drew broke of the sentence pressing himself even against Jurian’s body.
“No, I’m here.” Jurian whispered he’d always be here. “It’s still raining.”
“Oh really?” Drew answered completely disinterested in the weather. Jurian hands moved up and down Drew’s back. Their cloths causing much more friction than Jurian was happy with.
“No early swim this morning?” Jurian grinned.
Drew’s eyes flew open “You saw that?” he quipped horrified
“Oh yes, every morning.” Drew blushed. He’d never seen Drew blush before; it was absolutely adorable on him. “It was only fair, you’d seen me naked.” He continued slowly sliding his had under Drew’s jumper where another piece of clothing bared him from Drew’s skinned. He’d have to burn all the T-shirts in the house.
“Once! You were injured and I kept my eyes off you.”
“So you saw nothing then?”
“I didn’t say that.” Drew’ grin quickly turned serious. “I tried to though.”
“I know, I noticed. Thank you.” Jurian bent down and kissed Drew softly. It was a small kiss, a morning greeting. A wicked grin spread across Jurian’s face a second later. “I on the other hand saw everything.” He slid his hand up Drew’s back. “I saw his.” His fingers trailing Drew’s back muscled through the thin T-shirt fabric. Feeling the hardness of the muscles with the alluring softness of the skin. His hands slide around to Drew chest nipple hardening under Jurian’s fingers. “I saw these.” Drew gasped; Jurian felt Drew heartbeat speed up through his chest. He moved his hand to the back and again down over Drew jeans, cupping the firm mounds beneath it. “It saw these too.” He whispered pressing Drew against his body. Eliciting a slight moan from Drew lips. Him hands began mimicking Jurian’s trail. His breath more ragged as his fingers easily slipped under Jurian’s clothing touching his bare skin. Sending pleasant shivers down Jurian’s spin.
This time Drew initiated the kiss as his fingers found Jurian’s nipples slowly circling his thumb around them. Drew’s lips were far more demanding than Jurian’s kisses had been. Their lips merged, slowly moving together in unison, tongues discovering each others warmth. Probing, tasting, savoring each movement, each stroke of the tongue. It was the most sensual kiss he’d ever experienced. Slowly touching every place they could.
Jurian silently cursed their cloths envisioning burning mounds of textile. He stroked Drew’s cheek tenderly with his left hand giving in to the need to touch his skin anyway he could. Jurian rose up pushing Drew onto his back, gasping as Drew slid his hands into his trousers down his short firmly cupping his rear in both hands. There is no feeling in this world like that of the touch of the person you desire to touch the most. His fingers traced Drew’s jawline to his ears, down his neck to the nap of this throat.
So soft, Jurian groaned against Drew’s lips. So soft and creamy. He trailed his hand down Drew chest to his jeans failing to slip his hand in, he fumble with the buttons. Frustrated beyond belief he unwillingly broke their kiss. Both panting gasping for air eyes locked. Jurian tugged meaningfully at Drew’s clothes.
“I hate clothes.” Jurian growled
Drew couldn’t suppress a giggle, wordlessly starting to strip Jurian of his seaman’s jumper. Raising himself off the bed allowing Jurian do the same. Reuniting in a kiss, removing the next piece of clothing each in turn.
It was slow, deliberate. There was no rush. There was no clock to keep their time. Not now not today. Only the battling storm outside.
Once finally ride of every single piece of cloth. Jurian crawled up onto Drew almost right up onto his chest trying to get as close to him as he could. Holding his face kissing him until his lips hurt. Groaning at the hands touching ever single inch of him.
—
Jurian’s skin blazed under Drew’s fingers, groaning into his mouth. Drew’s amazed at the intensity of his lips. Their hot and demanding and soft and gentle all at once. Jurian’s hunched over Drew’s chest as if he wants to crawl into his skin.
It’s wonderful.
He’s wonderful.
Drew shifts his hands to touch Jurian’s hardness, they both moan at the sensation of it. One hand gripping his cock the other cupping his balls. Heavy smooth balls. Very nice full balls. Fitting perfectly in the palm of Drew’s hand.
Drew can hardly believe it. He’s right here in my arms. He’s kissing me, he’s touching me…
Scooting down Drew’s stomach Jurian grinds into Drew’s hands. Releasing his lips to stare down at him, eye brimming with lust and arousal. Need. Making Drew want him even more.
Drew gasps arching his back as Jurian caressed his nipple before rolling them between this thumb and index fingers. “Oooh… mmm…” oh my god…
Scooting down even lower Jurian lifted up so their cocks pressed agains each other turning his attention back to Drew’s chest. Drew fingers gripped Jurian’s hips hard as his lovers tongue trailed along his skin. Nipping as his flesh. Hot breath tickling him…
Drew really wanted to return the favour he wanted to make Jurian feel as fantastic as he was making him feel. But he couldn’t and although Jurian’s movements were in no way aggressive they was in a way firm. Drew was in his hands now, in complete control of his body and Drew gladly gave him the reins. His fingernail dug deep into Jurian’s skin when Jurian grasped bother their hard throbbing members sliding them together rolling their heads in the palm of his large rough hands. Making Drew jerk at the texture and touch.
In between moans and through slit eyes he saw the scratches he made gripping Jurian’s hips.
“Oh shit I’m sorry.” He panted alarmed at his own strength.
Jurian paused looking down following Drew’s stare breathing hard but maintaining the hard grip on their joined cocks. He grinned. That full-fledged killer grin that even in his current state of heightened sensitivity hit Drew’s chest like steam train locomotive. Whistle blowing and everything.
“Oh Love.” Jurian breathed leaning down to kiss passionately. “You can mark me anyway you want.” Drew groaned melting under Jurian’s attack. “Show the world I’m yours.” he whispered melting Drew even more.
“Love?”
“Hm?”
“Open me up.”
“What?” Drew’s eyes snapped open. What?
“You heard me.”
“But… But I I I’m not a good … top.” he”d always been a bottom.
“You will be for me.” Jurian leered deviously. He leaned down low, eyes firmly locking Drew to his, noses touching. “You want me? Come and claim me.”
Something clicked inside of Drew. He let Jurian take over completely. From the outside it would seem Drew flipped Jurian onto his back, throwing his long legs into the air and going down on him like no tomorrow. In complete control of the situation, the aggressor.
Nothing could be less true. Jurian guided every move he made, ever touch, ever lick, every nibble… Jurian wanted him to lay claim but really it was the other way around and Drew knew it.
As soon as Jurian was open enough and Drew had suited up, he trembled pushing his head through the tightest ring he’d ever felt. Hooking his long legs around Drew’s waist Jurian set the pace to Drew’s decent. Slowly sliding in, ever… so… slowly…
Once bottomed out both gasping and trembling with the emotion of it all. Jurian’s hips moved to meet Drew’s slow thrusts. Long-dicking in smooth measured movements. I steady pace, in and out, in and out, in and out. Moaning and panting at the insanity of the fixed pace. Drew watched Jurian’s face contort in ecstasy, his hand gripping he sheets almost ripping of the bed, back arched up, mouth open, chin straight up. He himself couldn’t put to words the emotions and sensations he felt. Jurian holding him, feeling his hot warm body move against his, feeling his rock hard dick slide in and out of the velvet warmth deep inside Jurian.
From the outside it almost looked like Jurian was fucking himself through Drew. But that wasn’t it at all. It was just Jurian’s way of showing him what he felt. Drew understood that. The claiming inconsequential, they already belong to each other.
“Oh my gods… ooh Dreeeeew…..” Jurian panted. “You feel so dammmn .ggooooood…” he wailed. It was a high pitched manly wail ending in a stomach lurching groan. It was damn near the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.
Drew wasn’t a very vocal man in bed, it didn’t come naturally to him, not the way it did for Jurian. He loved the sounds his pup was making. He dove down distracting Jurian with a very hard well placed kiss ramming his tongue down his throat and in that small laps of concentration Drew broke their pace slamming hard into him.
Jurian screamed out, turning to mush under Drew hard drilling, no rhythm no sanity just unadulterated pounding. They we both precariously tittering on the edge until Drew dove in hard one last time. Gripping Jurian’s slick dick he shuddered blasting deep inside Jurian, hard and fast and silently. While Jurian yelled out jerking in tune to his own ropes splattering their chests.
Drew collapsed into Jurian’s arms. Both heaving heavily at the inexplicable intensity of their climax. Mind-blowing really didn’t do it justice. Once breathing a little more regularly Jurian wrapped his arms and legs firmly around Drew again. Holding him close, as close as he possibly could.
Drew felt Jurian shudder under him, lifting his head to look into Jurian’s eyes shocked to see thick tears rolling his cheek. Alarmed Drew tried to lift himself off Jurian, but Jurian’s arms only tightened around him keeping him firmly in place.
“Pup whats wrong? Why you crying?” he asked wiping the tears away as best he could in his position.
Jurian opened his eyes staring right back into Drews. “I- I love you so much… I love you… so damn much… “
“Oh pup… I can’t really describe how much you mean to me. All I want is for you to stay here. With me in our house.” Drew kissed the stray tears away. “Will you stay?”
“Always…”
—
The wind blew hard here. It never did anything else. Cold gushes whirled around the two men pushing them along the beach. This was not one of your soft summery beaches. This was a northern beach long, hard and grey. Ralf galloped passed them his tail wagging and tongue lolling from his mouth. Trotting in wide circles like an on show parade horse while they hiked along the beach together.
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