I had my homework done by the time that Eric got home. Physically, I was feeling good, relaxed. I’m sure that the time I’d spent with Roy was the reason for that. Emotionally, I was confused. Sex with Roy just made think about Elmer. Before he left town, I’d told Elmer that I loved him, and I did. The thoughts running through my head now made me realize that I did more than that. I was in love with him.
We’d grown up together, and we had always pretended to be brothers; we even did a blood brother ritual when we were eight. By eleven, we had noticed that the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” was more interesting than it should have been. We pretended that we wanted to practice kissing just to get better at doing it until I told him he kissed better than any girl.
When he asked me how many girls I’d kissed, I’d admitted that I’d only kissed him. He told me that he only wanted to kiss me. That’s the day we confessed that we were only turned on by guys and that we only wanted to be with one another.
A gentle rap on the door brought me back to the present. I was on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees. I was in a t-shirt and some shorts made out of a sweatpant-like material. There was a second rap.
“Come in.”
Eric came into the room. He saw my homework on the little desk and me on the bed. “What’s wrong?”
I looked up at him and smiled.
“No. That’s not going to fool me, John. I can tell by your posture that something’s not right. Tell me what it is.”
“I’ve become friends with Roy,” I told him.
“Just friends? Or a little more than friends?”
“What do you mean, more than friends?”
“Well, I suspect that my nephew is gay. I’ve talked to my brother about it, and while he’s not homophobic, he doesn’t want Roy to be gay. He says he’s hoping for grandkids. I told him that he’s only getting biological grandchildren if Roy’s the sperm donor for a surrogate.”
Eric sat down next to me and put his hand on my back. “So, will you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Roy and I have become friends, and we’ve talked. He is in love with someone, but it’s not me. That’s not the problem though. I miss Elmer.”
“Elmer’s your boyfriend back home? Why don’t we drive there this weekend, and you can see him and tell him where you are.”
“We can’t. He left town.”
“Where’d he go? Maybe we can go there. Or, we can see him during the Christmas Break.”
“No one knows where he went. His father told the sheriff that he saw him leaving in his truck. He’d taken some clothes and a suitcase, but nothing else.” I know what Eric was thinking. If Elmer really loved me why did he leave without telling me he was going let alone where he was going.
I looked toward the window to avoid Eric’s face, his judgment. “He told me the day before he left that he was going to move to Austin and get a job there because I was going to school at UT.”
“So could he have gone there? Gone to Austin to find a job.”
“No. He was going to wait until graduation. He figured he’d get a better job with a high school diploma. Maybe get into a trade school. He wants to be a welder.”
“You know,” Eric said to me, “when you get to be my age, you realize that the promises you make and want to keep don’t always work out. And it’s not because you didn’t want to keep them.”
“I do understand what you’re saying. I know he didn’t leave me on purpose, but we’d just fu… I mean we’d just been together the day before, and he didn’t say anything about leaving.” Saying it out loud made me want to cry. I was fighting back the tears.
Eric wrapped his arms around me. The warmth of his hug made me feel so much better. I nuzzled up to him. Some flashes at my window warned of the storm that was about to hit the area.
“I don’t want to be alone tonight, Eric. Will you get under the covers and hold me?”
“John, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“You can leave once I’m asleep,” I told him.
“No, John. You’re an eighteen-year-old man. It’s simply not appropriate. I’m fifteen years your senior.”
“I’m not asking you to fuck me, just hold me.”
“No. Now go to sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning. Maybe I can ask some friends to help us find Elmer.” Eric stood up, I was sure I noticed his package was a little larger than it was when he came in. Did he not want to stay with me because he didn’t trust himself. Was he attracted to me? Or did the idea of sleeping next to another guy, any guy make him hard, as it did me?
Eric turned off the lights, and I got under the covers. I wondered whether I should ask Roy to be on top of me. Would that help get my mind off things and help me to relax? What if he didn’t want to. Maybe I should call Clay? I liked him, and he liked me, too. Perhaps that’d be better. I placed Clay’s face in my mind and began to rub my penis with my fingers. I got hard right away, and soon, I was a few strokes from feeling release. I pulled my hand away. I had no way to clean up, and I could hear Eric moving around in the house. I rolled onto my side. It didn’t take long to drift off to sleep.
I was sitting at a picnic table under a live oak tree when I saw Clay pull up in his car and get out. He stood there at the door and smiled at me. I stood up and he rushed over to me. “Oh you sexy fucker,” he said as he grabbed me and kissed me the way a man should be kissed. Clay should teach classes on how to use one’s tongue. “I’m going to fuck you right on this table.”
“People will see us. We’ll get arrested,” I laughed and grabbed his crotch. Shit, he was hard. I estimated about seven inches of hard hard cock. I went to my knees and pulled his dick out. I ran my tongue down the shaft. Precum oozed from the slit, and I sucked it up. I loved the taste of it.
“I’ve got a blanket in the car. Oh, fuck, you’re gonna make me come. Stop, I want to come in your ass. I want to erase all memory of Elmer.”
I suddenly felt dizzy and sat on the ground. I looked up at Clay. His face was blurry; I looked down at the ground and saw Elmer looking up at me, except that I knew he wasn’t there. Everything seemed to go white.
“John, it’s Eric. Are you OK? You’re having a nightmare.”
I opened my eyes. Lightning flashes lit up the room. He was sitting on the bed next to me; his caring face was looking at me. I sat up and kissed him.
“Don’t do that, John. It’s difficult enough for me to resist you.” He struggled to stand up. My hand brushed against his chest and over his hairy pecs.
I wanted him. I didn’t want to be alone. “Please don’t pull away.”
He stood up. “You were having a nightmare, John. I’m not Elmer.”
What had I done? Did I ruin my chance to stay here, to finish high school, and to start my life? “I’m sorry.”
I felt his hand on my shoulder, a rather fatherly thing I will admit. “It’s alright; you were confused. Try to go back to sleep.” He left the room.
I seemed to stare at the ceiling for hours. When I woke up the next morning, it was still raining.
Eric knocked at my door, and I told him to come in. “You doing OK?”
“Sure.”
“Just so you know, part of the high school flooded with the rain, so no classes today. Remember, the house is yours, too. I trust you. You may want to sleep in. Your sleep didn’t sound very restful. See you in about 12 hours.” I heard him go outside; his car started and pulled away.
I got up and showered. I wish I still had a cell phone; I wanted to text Clay or even text Roy. I just didn’t want to feel alone. I dressed and checked outside again. Too much rain for me to go walking about. I looked through the titles of the books on the shelves next to the dining room table. There were several from Hemingway, and I took “For Whom the Bell Tolls” to the couch and began reading.
I must have fallen asleep because there was a banging on the window behind the couch that startled me awake. I turned and saw Roy grinning on the other side. I let him in. He brought a box of chicken and a couple of drinks.
“I talked to Joe this morning; well, I texted him,” said Roy as we sat at the table.
“What’d you tell him?” I asked.
“Nothing. He’s going to hate me when I tell him.”
“No, Roy. I don’t believe that,” I reassured him.
“Please don’t tell him that we practiced fucking yesterday.”
“You don’t need to worry about that.” I wondered whether he would want to practice some more. “I’m not going to say anything to him about what we do. If you want him to know, you’ll have to tell him.”
“Not planning on that. Anyway, I asked him to join us for lunch, but he didn’t think he could get here until a little later.”
I took a sip of my drink and grabbed a piece of chicken.
Roy grabbed one, too. “What are you planning to do after graduation?”
“I was planning to attend UT in Austin.”
“Leaving Oklahoma?”
“I was, but I don’t know now. I’ve got a lot to think about. I hadn’t planned out coming out until I was done with college, but things change.”
“I’m going to OSU; maybe we can be roommates.”
I took another sip. “I thought you were going to be roommates with Joe.”
“Nah, he’s going to LSU. That’s where his dad went.”
A knock at the door made us both look up.
“Want me to get it?” I asked.
“It’s your fucking house,” laughed Roy.
“Oh, yeah.” I got up and let Joe in. He’d stopped off for a burger and fries. “Come into the kitchen.” The three of us sat at the table, and they chatted about basketball. I didn’t know whom they were talking about, and I didn’t care. I kept noticing Joe ’s green eyes. His square face and his slightly rumpled hair made him attractive and totally fuckable. I’d do him if he asked, but then he was the object of Roy’s heart, and I could see why Roy wanted him. Now, did Joe want him?
I looked over at Roy and caught his eye. He looked down and grabbed another piece of chicken. “Hey,” his voice cracked. “What did you decide about the Christmas party?”
I took another piece for myself.
“What do you mean?” asked Joe .
“You said you might ask Sheila. Is that still your plan?”
“What about you, Roy?” snapped Joe. “Oh, wait, that’s right, you never ask anyone to go to these things.”
“I’ve told you that I’m not interested in dating any of the girls in our class.”
“You can still fuck them. Several of the girls would pull down their panties for you. That goes for you, too, John. I heard Lisa Armstrong tell Sheila that she’d fuck you in an instant.” Joe was actually pointing his finger at me as he said it.
“Any of the guys say they’d bend over for me? Or at least suck my dick?” I asked.
“No.” He chuckled a bit before glancing over at Roy. “What’s he talking about?”
“Mr. Davis,” I said, “Joe, I prefer the kind of pussy that’s just below the dick when a guy is on his back. I’m gay. Hasn’t anyone said anything?”
“Fuck no. No one’s said anything about your being a cocksucker.”
“Joe !” exclaimed Roy.
“Sorry, man. I just never met anyone who acted like it was no big deal. He talks about it like the guys talk about the girls. Besides, Roy here is the only guy I know who doesn’t date girls. I’ve known him all my life, and as far as I know, he doesn’t suck dicks.” He gave a nervous laugh.
“But you’d like him to?” I asked.
“Like him to what?” Joe’s tone was slightly defensive.
“To suck you,” I replied and shrugged my shoulders.
“Fuck you, John. You’re the faggot, not me. And I’ve never called Roy a cocksucker.”
Roy stood up and leaned forward. “What if I were… gay? Would we still be best friends?”
“But you’re not, Roy. I don’t like these what-if games.” Joe stood up.
Roy took a deep breath and put his hand on Joe’s arm. “This isn’t a game, Joe . I am gay, and I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”
“Don’t touch me. I can’t fucking believe this.” Joe turned to go.
“Stay, please. Talk to me. I know it’s a surprise.”
“It ain’t no surprise. People have been saying things for years; asking me, and I defended you. I’m getting out of here.” Joe moved quickly to the door, leaving what was left of his lunch. Roy followed him to the door and watched him go without calling his name.
He turned to me. “I feel like shit, but I had a feeling that he would reject me.” His voice was strained; his eyes, misty. “I knew the chances were slim that he’d be gay, too. Plus, even if he were, what are the chances that he’d have the same feelings?”
I put my arm around him. He turned and looked at me. “I’ve got more condoms in the car, want to fuck around?”
“I am kind of horny after all that cock sucking talk,” I laughed.
“I’ll go get them.” Roy ran out to his car and came back with a grin on his face. He slipped a small packet into my pocket. I knew he was hurting inside. Despite his words, he had hoped for a different reaction from Joe. I led him to my bedroom.
He dropped to his knees and pulled my clothing down. “I know that I want to practice being a pitcher, but I really want you to fuck me again. I liked it more than I thought I would.” He put the condom on my already hard cock. Then he stripped himself naked and got on my bed. With his hands spreading his butt cheeks, his hole was exposed to me. I lubricated the entrance to his tunnel with the lube he had put into my pocket. My dick wanted to be inside him.
“I’m ready,” he told me.
I angled my cock down and pressed the head into his cunt. This time I continued to push into him, and we developed a rhythm rather quickly. I plunged in and out of him. His tunnel still had a tight grip on me, and I quickened the pace; I knew I was coming, and I pushed myself into him and filled the condom. The sexual frustration I’d felt building from the night before had been reduced, but I wasn’t finished.
I pulled out and removed the condom. I grabbed another and placed it over Roy’s throbbing shaft. After stretching his legs straight, I fingered my hole with the lubricant, and while facing his feet, I lowered myself onto his rod.
The stretch was amazing, but as it wasn’t my first time, I was able to lower myself onto him. I felt almost the full length of his hardness within me. Staying in that position for a good thirty seconds and allowing myself to adjust, I prepared to move up and down his cock. I continued cycling on him even after seeing a shadow in my doorway.
Roy mumbled and moaned. He repeated “oh, yeah” several times. His hands were holding mine. I sensed his body tense at one point, and he began to push up into me. He grunted as he filled the condom, and I smiled. The shadow moved away. We had just started an afternoon of sex.
I wondered whether Eric Johnson had seen enough, or did he intend to watch the rest of our activities?
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